Failure

Sometimes, I feel like a complete failure.

No matter how far I've come, or how much I've learned, there's this sinking feeling inside me that I can't understand and I can barely control. The best I've come to dealing with it is to ignore it, but there are days where it makes its presence known.

The reality is I'm not a failure. I may have failed plenty of times in my life, (probably more times that I've succeeded at something) but I'm not keeping tally of the number of times I've failed. I'm sure you've heard that failure is an opportunity for learning and growth and while that's true, failure can also be an exercise in maturity. Failing at something shouldn't be rewarded, but it shouldn't be dismissed.

So if I can live with the times I've failed in my life, why feel like a failure? I'm not sure. It just happens. It's a big bag of doubt with a fluffy bow of scrutiny. Sometimes I'm not sure if I have what it takes to do something, even though I know if I didn't think so much about it I could take on the challenge.

It's an ongoing battle inside my head and my heart.